Comments from Malcolm Pugh (1962 - 1970)

Email: mb012b0076@blueyonder.co.uk

Date: November 25th 2002

I was there.......i actually remember the register !!!!! ali baker ,broadbent, brown ,cartmell chulmondely, deakin, dowthwaite, englefield, etheridge, fazaklea, (the man who never was) fellowes, fowler, hoare,  kernick, mcauly, mccaul, mcfarlane, mcilroy, payton, precious, pugh, reed smith, (the man who sometimes was - but very rarely..but could throw a tennis ball better than god) sweet virdi walters (he could make clones argue amongst themselves) williams........bound to have slipped up here.    

Strangely no-one seems to have mentioned the maniac that went around decking as many staff as possible on leaving day.....always threatened but actually performed....i think i know too about lectern.....im not saying too much more..im glad howard stockly is still around.....how about bayli...charlie graham...sano moore, hipwell, lewis, jack whiteman, levitt, whickam (whackem) the psychotic woodwork guy....lightfoot..thats it, lewis,  burgess, sheen, ecclestone, boothroyd, quysner gascoigne, vain ..chemistry guy fails me..clever bloke...seemed amazing seeing micky reed trotting around on the telly...he used to play for coftonians for the old man (died march aged 89) with keith payton, al williams, jeffer, bobby osbourne phil precious both trevor woods ..most of the bloody school at the time...the year above played for him too but a couple of them are gone as i recall so i wont mention too many names.

i should imagine steve who was head boy..would still be around..he was a good player..and ian chandler...........so many good footballers...i heard it rumoured later they favoured enty to good footballers as there werent too many grammar schools that didnt just play rugby.....just as well..id be long gone with rugby.    malc.

Date: 27th November 2002

last visit for a good long while....too many memories at times....no mention of col fluck, johnny freer, bonner powell, mcgeough from ian caney's year, micky wilding, dave brain, chris who married my cousin fay and i cant remember HIS surname..unreal..graham wills who came from rubery with just me and dowthwaite (me and is allowable) and who i missed off the register along with bobby osborn...how could anyone forget bobby osborn...i reckon the best of all of us in our year and the main reason i came poking  around...howard stockley contacted me , which was a very nice suprise, apparantly at friends anonymous steve morris actually went to the GIRLS school.....answers the other question you were going to ask me...welburn agar and lowe were all names i had forgot...not to their detriment...im suprised so much sticks after so long.....bruno always tickled me...mumbling and groaning...like boris karloff in slow motion, charlie graham the staff member doesnt seem to get much praise...i liked him well enough...he once asked us how to stir up patriotism and someone said "ban the national flag" which got him an hour dt...he couldnt see he was for real.........i got it for saying two spuds and a carrot when he asked for a little order.....there seem mounds of people on friends thing who arent here...its hardly that were all bashful after all these yars surely...im having a wander round friday morning for the first time in 32 years and it will probably feel pretty wierd...i found a load of old pirates of penzance pics and sent them in, and i reckon ive got a cricket picture somewhere.....if everyone emailed one picture it would be pretty interesting....i think the site is very well sussed out and having an accross the board search is a help...if mr lewis ever reads this then i wish you very well, and of course howard is a one-off frankly...or frankie...i dont see steve ward mentioned, or ian chandler or howard darby who is in a lot of the pictures...wish i wasnt...skin and bone....nothing for the dog there....barnicle was really very good in the pirates..i had forgotten...i remember a couple of productions earlier years...i think hamlet and another cracker that were quite polished and proffessional.....i also remember when all the hymn books were jammed into the piano ,which was unable to bend a string and under microphone, when the guy that took over from i think wilton, who was always very theatrical slammed his hands down on the keys and all you could hear was splintering fingernails...none of the staff would have sung anyway because the books were in the piano.....so many things...anyway, ive popped in my tuppence and ill be off...ive emailed everyone and his dog and its time to get back real...bye...malc

Date: 29th November 2002

This is not easy to say, but i sweated last night on what people would think of what i had written(twice) i felt carried away at the time, almost back in the time i was there, suprisingly vivid and lucid memories came not just back, but in floods..too much, too soon in one go. im not ashamed to admit i have been alcoholic and chain smoking. i nearly died in intensive care twice, in fact its probably only the sheer discipline instilled in me by this school so long ago that pulled me through.(if you can survive 8 years of grammar school what is illness compared to that?!! )i had not realised until this morning, at the age of FIFTY (i sure catch on quick) that i was so heavily indoctrinated as i was, and still carrying it, indeed my first intention in finding the site was to say i got loads of qualifications after i left because i cocked up my a levels......as if i needed to make some form of atonement, and say "im sorry i let you down at the time guys but i did ok later!". 

ANYONE who went through what was at times hell could not fail in later like to be successful, or at least determined to survive, or at another tangent, those who truly rebelled gained rebelliousness, and probably cast off their chains a lot earlier than a dummy like me. i found i was genuinely worried what all my old colleagues thought about what i had written, and i felt a clown for writing it and wanted to turn the clock back and unwrite it. THANK GOD I DID. as it has shaken a monkey off my back. there was no intentionn originally to do anything more than pepare people for a tough world with the best education possible, and i think that was ably achieved by some of the best teachers known to man, however what they did not realise was how deep rooted and how long this hold continues..all my working life i now realise i was searching for approval, and i was bloody good at my job. WHY? because the ethic is always there underneath that if you do well you will be praised, and 

do badly you will be punished. i thought long and hard about writing this, for fear of dispelling some peoples illusions, but on the whole i feel if this spares one person what i've been through yesterday in a form of purifying catharthis via outpourings of long held back subconscious directives, then it far outweighs any damage to an illusional world.we all had the best education we could possibly have had, and i wouldnt change a thing....i just wish someone else had written this to me twenty years back, because what was instilled was meant to make the transition to maturity and not adhere into our old age.perhaps it is a true testament to the unparallelled genius of every single one of our tutors, that it has been so effective, for so long....and despite what we ALL put up with we can laugh about it and love the old place.  sent 35 emails out there and 1 by mistake...i got 5 back , and one of them was the mistake, and a very gracious one at that, who had the manners to write !
to someone unknown to point out their error. i dont blame the 28 who didnt, i was a litlle sqirt at school, half the time terrified and too lippy by half when i knew nothing. i dont feel ive lost 28 people, i feel ive gained five.this website has done me more good than billy chrystal in analyse this (just), at zero pennies. quite honestly i do hope this helps someone, as it was not easy to write, but i genuinely feel it has changed me radically, and would urge others to expunge their own dark thoughts and secrets in their own time and realise what a ceansing effect it has. ii count myself lucky to have had the education i did and bear no grudges, but all in all the largest emotion is suprise that i was still "under the influence"  i genuinely never gave it a thought of being a problem. you may feel angry or saddened or feel i have let down the memory of the school, in fact i still retain a fierce pride in where i went deep down, and always will. whatever you feel just reflect for a while on what you read, and realise that this was not at all easy, and was simpler to NOT write. i just wanted to help anyone else not to have to go through what ive bben through these past few days, maybe im a wimp and everyone else was well adjusted at 25, but judging by the sheer number of people who write then i would contest perhaps there is a certain validity in what i have said.it is for you to make up your own minds, after all, that is how we were taught to be.

A recent authoritatative study has shown that there is much evidence to support the view taht /Grammar/King Edwards/PublicSchool education of this era resulted in "overcompensation for any perceived sense of under-acheivment" and goes on to say that "even highly successfull individuals by any standards feel they could have done better; with a sense of worthlessness for any form of failure.Combining this with the excessive drive promoted can lead to highly obbsessive/addictive behavioral patterns, and over-excessive zeal in approching any task" It goes on to postulate that the excessive drinking associated and accepted in Rugby(the sport) and practised almost solely at the time through these schools stems from the "overdrive factor".                Put simply, if you are trained to perform to 250 per cent in everything you attempt,and cannot countenance any slightest self-perceived form of "failure",then if what you are consoling that failure with is food/drink/drugs/gambling/sports then you will tend to do it in an extreme and obsessive manner,and self-destruct.when the "failure-level" can be 80 o levels and 9 a levels it is easy to see the point.             in other words, not everyone can be President of Great Britain, but you don't have to end up like John Prescott.................(said with affection in atonement to John Prescott).      It is learning that there is an obbsessive factor,knowing the signs, and pulling back that is hard to grasp, but the "overdrive factor" works in reverse, and can OVERCOME these obsessions/addictions with the self-same determination.Set a thief to catch a thief.      I trust the spelling is up to Andy Mccourt's exacting standards and would quietly point out to him that his previous email address was MCCOURA@ and not as should have been MCCOURTA@ obviously not spelling merely a malfunctioning keyboard.I found the study of help in understanding why everything i did seemed to be to "excess" "de-rigour" totally committed.maybe this will help someone else figure it all out for themselves before the lights go out for good,because i am living proof you can survive these demons.